Projection tv > The Fear of Expressing Anger

The Fear of Expressing Anger

by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

There is much to learn from anger, yet many people are afraid of this feeling because they don?t know how to express anger in ways that are helpful rather than harmful. I teach a process at my weekend Inner Bonding workshops called ?The Anger Process.? This powerful process, which is described below, is not only for releasing pent-up anger in harmless ways, but for discovering what your responsibility is in any conflict with another person.

Often, when I describe this process in a workshop, some people get anxious and want to leave. They are afraid of anger and of expressing their anger. This is invariably because they come from a family where one or both of their parents or other caregivers were angry in a mean, violent way ? a way that caused harm to others. These people are so afraid of being like their mother or father that they repress their anger, taking it out on themselves instead of others.

Neither dumping anger on others nor repressing it and taking it out on oneself is healthy. Anger expressed in these ways is about controlling rather than learning. Venting anger on another is about controlling through intimidation and blame. Anger dumped on oneself is about controlling feelings that are harder to feel than anger, such as fear, anxiety, loneliness, or helplessness over others.

Anger is an important emotion. It is here to tell us something, to teach us how we are thinking or behaving that is not in our highest good. You may have been taught that other people?s behavior causes your anger, yet this is generally not true. Others may behave in ways that you don?t like, but your anger at them is frequently a projection of how you are not taking care of yourself ? a way to control them rather than take care of yourself.

It?s important to differentiate between blaming anger and justified anger, which is really outrage.
Outrage is the feeling we have when there is injustice, such as seeing someone abuse a child. Outrage moves us to take appropriate, loving action in our own or others behalf.

Blaming anger comes from feeling like a victim and gets us off the hook from having to take personal responsibility for ourselves. This anger does not lead to learning or to healthy action.

The anger process is a way of expressing anger that leads to learning and growth. When people in my workshop want to leave rather than do the process, I explain to them that it is very important for them to reassure the frightened child within that this anger is not like their father?s or mother?s anger ? it is not being expressed with the intent to control. It is being expressed with the intent to learn.

The Anger Process is a three-step process:

Fully express anger toward a person you are presently angry with (not in their presence!). You can yell, call names, kick something, and pound with fists on a pillow or with a bat, but you cannot harm yourself or anyone else.

Ask yourself who this person reminds you of in the past ? parent, teacher, sibling, friend - and then let the angry part of you again fully express the anger.

Finally - and this is the most important part - allow the angry child within to express his or her anger at you, the adult, for any ways you are not taking care of yourself in this conflict, or any ways you are treating yourself badly.

Step Three is the most important part, because it brings the issue home to personal responsibility. If you just do the first two parts, you are left feeling like an angry victim. The anger that comes from being a victim is a bottomless pit and will never lead to learning and resolution.

Once you understand that you can express your anger with an intention to learn, your fear of your own anger will go away. You don?t have to repress your anger in order to not be like your parents. You can express it harmlessly in The Anger Process and learn about what your anger is trying to tell you.

About The Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and ?Healing Your Aloneness.? She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions Available.

One Of Cancun's Best

by: Amy Covington

It's hard to believe that a short 30-mile bus ride from the Spring-break haven of Cancun is one of the top-ranked hotels in Central America and an exotic, unrivaled tropical paradise. While it sounds like typical romance copy, we're not just giving lip service ...the Mayan Riviera is not your standard Mexican vacation destination nor is Maroma Resort a regular lodging establishment, having recently received the Conde Nast Travel Magazine Reader's Choice Award as the #3 hotel in all of Central America. The local culture and natural resources are just some of the attractions that separate Riviera Maya from other popular destinations in Central America. For starters, the second largest barrier reef in the world is located here, providing unsurpassed water activities like snorkeling, wind-surfing, kayaking, sailing, diving, bottom fishing, deep sea and fly fishing. The unspoiled beach offers guests the utmost in privacy...

One Of Cancun's Best

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Rear Projection LCD TV

Rear Projection LCD TV

by: Linda Harrison

The least expensive type of large TV is a rear-projection LCD TV.
Some projection TVs have three cathode-ray picture tubes (CRTs), which are like smaller versions of the tubes used in conventional sets.
The images from those small tubes are projected onto the back of a 40 inch to 60 inch plus screen, giving them the name rear projection TV.
Other rear projection TV sets use LCD, digital light processing (DLP), or liquid crystal on silicon (LCoS) technology in place of CRTs.
These high tech rear projection TV sets are thinner, lighter, and as a result more expensive than comparable CRT-based sets ? but they produce a higher-quality picture.

Major brands of rear projection LCD TV sets include Hitachi, Mitsubishi, Panasonic, Philips, RCA, Samsung, Sony, and Toshiba.
The most popular models are HD capable, and there are three basic types of HD TVs.

So how...

Rear Projection LCD TV

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Bariatric Surgery: Cosmetic or Necessary?

by: AllMed Healthcare Management

During the past 20 years, there has been a dramatic increase in obesity in the United States. Thirty states have obesity rates of more than 20 percent. Currently, more than 44 million Americans are considered obese, the result of our fast-food life style and lack of exercise.

As a result, more obese Americans are turning to bariatric surgery. In 1995, just 20,000 weight-loss operations were performed in the United States. Last year, physicians performed 103,000 bariatric surgeries, an increase of more than 500 percent. The projection for 2005 rises to 144,000.

These surgeries are in the range of $30,000 each and if complications arise, even more. Even though some health insurance groups do not include this surgery in their plan language, requests for independent medical reviews regarding bariatric surgery have surged over the past year.

Most of these reviews...

Bariatric Surgery: Cosmetic or Necessary?

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Polishing Your Sales Presentation

Polishing Your Sales Presentation

by: Dan Collins

Summer is here! It?s time to bring out your summer attire, take a vacation and reflect upon your achievements thus far this year. Look back at the past few months of your sales production . . . are you on target for all your sales goals for 2005? Are you making the sales from all your sales presentations?

You may be far ahead in some areas or behind in others. No matter what your sales production is today you certainly should have another look at what targets and goals you have developed in your game plan for 2005.

Are you using your strengths to their fullest potential? To improve your sales results, determine what has been working or not working. Then define where to concentrate your productive energies for the next two quarters in 2005 or the remainder of your compensation period.

The statistics say that 90% of the sale is made in the presentation. Many sales professionals need...

Polishing Your Sales Presentation

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Mitsubishi?s Bright New Idea

by: John Richardson

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Mitsubishi?s Bright New Idea

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Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If You're Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce?

by: Karl Augustine

Thinking about getting a divorce doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce. Conversely, it could be wise to try to s top your divorce, only you know whether you should. Just because you're thinking about getting a divorce, doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce, although its logical to automatically assume so.

In order to be clear that you really want to stop your divorce if you're thinking about getting a divorce, you should use any or all of the following steps to make that determination:

Should You Stop Your Divorce?, step 1: Examine why you're thinking about getting a divorce and clearly define and outline those reasons.

This is a vital part of determining whether you really do want to stop your divorce. It is easy to naturally think you should get a divorce if feel empty, confused,...

Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If You're Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce?

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Projection tv The Fear of Expressing Anger

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by: Rachelle Disbennett-Lee

A Big Audacious Goal (BAG) is a clear and compelling catalyst that serves as a focal point for effort. Unlike smaller goals, the BAG is something that is huge. It is challenging and in some ways seems impossible - but a BAG is also inspiring, compelling, and motivating.

Everyone needs a BAG. BAGs challenge us to be more than we are right now, and to tap into all of our resources. BAGs...

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Projection tv The Fear of Expressing Anger televisions

Plasma TV The Price Goes Down

by: Tom Ace

Plasma TV has become an important part of television technology. Over the past few years, there have been several major advances in the industry, including the plasma TV. As with any major technology advances, the plasma TV is quickly becoming more affordable - good news for the consumer.

There are several reasons the price of the plasma TV is becoming more affordable. The first is the same reason that most technologies...

Projection tv The Fear of Expressing Anger Plasma TV The Price Goes Down televisions

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Projection tv The Fear of Expressing Anger